FAQ

If you're new to swinging and haven't got a clue what it's all about, you're in the right place!

ARE NEW GUESTS EXPECTED TO JOIN IN STRAIGHT AWAY?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Most newcomers take baby steps onto the scene and start off by watching the dynamics of others or playing privately with each other in a locked room. It may take a few visits before you feel like playing with other people, you may even decide that you don’t want to play with other people at all! There are some members who get a thrill out of watching others or being watched. The key is taking things at your own pace.

WE ARE NOT SURE WHAT WE WANT, WE JUST FEEL ATTRACTED TO THE SCENE. IS THAT OK?

If you are a couple, the main thing is that you communicate with one another before you attend. But whether you are single or part of a couple, think about what it is about the swinging scene that gets you excited. Set some boundaries for yourself and stick to them. You may find that your boundaries change over time, but if you keep checking in with yourself or if you are a couple, talk to one another, you will be enjoying the scene whilst keeping your own relationship safe and boundaries intact.

WHAT IS THE CROWD LIKE?

The crowd often varies depending on the type of event. While ages vary, many of our guests are in their late 20's and 30's and make efforts to look their best when attending an event. As an inclusive sex-positive community we never discriminate based on age, body type, gender or gender expression, sexual preference, race, physical ability, or relationship structure. We do not separate ticketing by gender or relationship status. We find that gender ratios at private events are almost always balanced.

I'VE READ ABOUT THE DRESS CODE ON YOUR NITTY GRITTY PAGE BUT CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME IDEAS ON WHAT TO WEAR?

Out of all the questions we get, this is one of the most common! You all care very much about making a good first impression, which is amazing! 🙂  Guys tend to wear a minimum of smart jeans, shoes and a shirt/smart top. On certain nights guys like to take it a step further and wear trousers, waistcoats or shirt and tie. The main thing to remember is that ladies like a well groomed, nice smelling guy, so you can’t go wrong if you make an effort in the grooming department!  Ladies tend to glam it up at the Xtreme Sin Sanctuary, especially at the weekend! As a minimum, we say dress to impress but you can interpret that in any way you want. During the week, there is nothing wrong with the likes of skinny jeans, top and heels, or a floaty dress for instance. At the weekend, ladies tend to wear dresses and heels or a glam trouser/skirt and top outfit.  Because we are not an immediate dress down club like other clubs, people really do like to go the extra mile with how they look, but you also need to feel comfortable. So think about what makes you feel sexy, but also feels comfortable.  There are dress down ideas on our Nitty Gritty page

HOW SHOULD I ACT?

Communication is the most important thing to keep in mind. As long as you communicate your requests and boundaries you should feel free to be yourself. We work to create a space where guests are encouraged to explore their sexuality and self-expression, therefore we expect everyone to be kind and treat each other with respect. You may be near people or things that don't turn you on but don't ever shame someone or be rude. Be aware of your alcohol consumption and make sure you remain in a position to give and get consent. If you have any questions at the event find someone wearing a Guardian armband and they can help you. Please also be sure to familiarize yourself with our Consent Policy

WILL MY PRIVACY BE PROTECTED?

We respect the privacy of our members and will never sell or distribute your name, contact info or other personal information to any other organization.

WHAT IS THE AGE RANGE OF GUESTS?

Swinging attracts people of all ages, from 18 – 80 but at Xtreme Sin Sanctuary, the average age is 23 – 45. Some nights attract a younger crowd, some nights attracts an older crowd, but we never can tell. We do have events for those 39 and under (Allure) and for those 40 and over (Gen X).

CAN WE PAY ON THE DOOR?

All events at Xtreme Sin are tickets only and can be booked via ‘Verified Party Agent Referrals’. If you turn up without a ticket, you will not gain entry; no exceptions, sorry.

WHEN CAN I USE A FREE PASS I RECEIVED?

All free passes including our first timer promotion passes can not be used for special events. Special events include the Anniversary Party in March, all of Halloween weekend, and New Year's Eve weekend.

DO YOU HAVE TO WEAR A MASK INSIDE OF THE CLUB OR SHOW PROOF OF VACCINATION?

Face masks are not required inside the club. Guests who still wish to wear them are welcome to. We are not requiring proof of vaccination.

WHAT SUPPLIES DO YOU PROVIDE AT THE XTREME SIN SANCTUARY, AND WHAT ARE GUESTS ALLOWED TO BRING?

We provide condoms throughout the club and in the rooms. Guests are welcome to bring their own and we recommend this for anyone needing a special type or size. We also have wipes, towels, mints, and hand sanitizer throughout the club. We may have lube samples available, but guests are welcome and encouraged to bring their own. Guests are able to bring their own adult toys. Please note, all bags will be checked by door staff and we are not responsible for personal items brought to the club.

HOW DO I RESERVE THE VIP SUITE?

Our VIP suite is located on the 3rd floor and provides a seductive environment for private play experiences. The VIP suite is available on a first come, first serve basis. To reserve the VIP room, reach out to your referral the date for the event you would like to attend.

IS XTREME SIN SANCTUARY A 21+ CLUB?

Yes we are a 21+ club. The 21+ rule applies to all guests, staff, and ambassadors.

WHERE CAN YOU BE NUDE IN THE CLUB?

Nudity is allowed everywhere, however men are only allowed to be nude when they are actively involved in play, on a bed. Men can not walk around the club nude including partially nude. Women can be nude but shoes must be worn at all times.

ARE LOCKERS AND SHOWERS AVAILABLE?

We have lockers available on all floors at no cost. You can bring your own lock or purchase one at the bar for 8 bucks. Showers and towels are available for use and are located on the first floor. The showers have shampoo and body wash available for guests to use.

WHAT TYPE OF PLAY SPACES DO YOU HAVE?

At Xtreme Sin Sanctuary we have a play space for everyone with over 20 beds! The first floor has our recently renovated couples lounge. On the second floor we have rooms with doors that close for those who would like their play time to be more private. The third floor has our second couples only lounge which now has three private rooms with doors that close.

WILL YOU BE BUSY TONIGHT?

If I had a buck for each time I was asked this question, I could move to the Caribbean! lol  We really can’t tell in advance how busy a night will be. There are some nights that we can guarantee to be busy, i.e. Pure, Allure, Summer fest, most Fridays and Sunday nights, but until we get closer to the event and we can see our ticket sales, we can’t and will not guess the popularity of a party. Things like school holidays, football matches and the weather can affect numbers! lol Really!  As clubs go, we tend to be one of the busier venues out there, but what we can say is that busy doesn’t always mean successful with regards to people hitting it off. Some of our most ‘active’ nights have been the quieter nights where people can chat easily and have their pick of play space.  So please don’t gauge a good night by the numbers in attendance. It’s all about the right people, in the right place, at the right time.

WILL THERE BE LOTS OF SINGLE GUYS PRESENT?

Some nights are busier than others for single guys. We don’t necessarily have a restriction at all events, but we still monitor numbers to keep a comfortable ratio; this is one of the reasons we have a ticket system, so we can monitor ratios perfectly.🙂 We cap numbers keeping a comfortable ratio based on the number of couples and ladies present, but they are great events for those who want a good number of guys to meet.  If you are worried about single guys, please be assured that our guys need to go through a process before they get a membership and we find that our guys are respectful, understanding and great company. If you would rather attend on a night where there are no single guys at all, then we have a couples only night on some special occasions.

WHAT IF I SEE SOMEONE I KNOW?

Well they are there for the same thing as you, so after the initial shock, you can have a laugh about it. Some swingers travel away from home to a club miles away in the hopes that they will avoid bumping into someone they know, but what they don’t realize is that a lot of swingers have the same idea!! We have met people from far, hundreds of miles away from home. You are best just choosing a club based on merit, rather than it’s proximity to your home!  The first rule of the club is ‘What goes on in the club, stays in the club’. Swinging only works if we can trust one another and uphold this very important rule. So if you bump into someone that you know from the club, you shouldn’t be going over blurting out that you know them from the swinging scene…it’s common sense but has to be said!

CAN SINGLES COUPLE UP?

No sorry, singles cannot couple up. Only those in a long standing, committed relationship will be given a couples ticket, so friends or f!ckbuddies cannot attend as a couple. If we find that you are friends and have tried to get around our rule, all tickets going forward will be cancelled without a refund and your membership will be deactivated permanently. Our couples don’t want singles attending as a couple, only to split off when they are inside; we would end up with a club full of single guys and that is not what our guests want from Xtreme Sin, especially on couple focussed events. If you are a new couple and want to attend our couples party, you will need to confirm with your referral before booking a ticket as we will need proof you are a couple.

DO YOU SELL LIQUOR OR CAN WE BYOB?

We have two full service bars so we do not allow outside liquor in our establishment. We sell beer, wine, and spirits.

DO YOU HAVE PARKING AVAILABLE AT THE CLUB?

There is on street parking in front of and around the club. There are also various parking garages located near our location.

WHAT IF SOMEONE ASKS ME TO PLAY AND I DON'T WANT TO?

Just politely say ‘no thank you’! Swingers are used to the knock back lol! We are all attracted to different people so it is natural that someone may like you, but the feelings are not always mutual…and visa versa may I add! The best way to establish who is into what and if a couple/person is attracted to you is through conversation. Mingle, chat, have a laugh…you will usually establish pretty quickly who is attracted to who and if they are interested in you. We don’t hold psychic abilities so unless you speak to people and ask, we won’t know you are interested..or not

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FULL SWAP AND SOFT SWAP?

It is a myth that swinging means a mass orgy or swapping in separate rooms! It also doesn’t mean throwing your keys in a bowl and walking away with the owner of the keys! lol In fact swinging is so varied from couple to couple and person to person. Here are some of the different ways in which people enjoy the swinging scene: 

Voyeurism – This is watching other people at play. 

Exhibitionism – playing in front of other people for your own pleasure. 

Soft Swap – This can be simply kissing and touching another couple/person, it could be oral sex, it could be females only playing. 

Full swap – this is when 2 couples swap partners, but in most cases, it is a group situation and not a straight swap…so females may play, there may be threesome play while the other watches for a bit…there’s lots of scenarios! 

Full swap generally happens in the same room, but some couples like the idea of being in different rooms. It’s a personal preference really. 

Orgy – This is when several couples and maybe even some singles are ‘invited’ into a group play situation. So there may be several partner swaps, maybe some girl girl, threesomes, foursomes, moresomes….it’s a sea of skin!! lol Not for the faint hearted!

I AM WORRIED ABOUT STI'S

We actively promote safe sex in our club by providing condoms free of charge and we encourage everybody to protect themselves and others by insisting upon the use of condoms. We recommend that you change condoms from partner to partner in group situations and please do not ‘forget’ to have them handy. There is no excuse for unprotected sex. We  provide drop in clinics for people to come along and have themselves tested for several STI’s, courtesy of Gayles House. Many STI’s can be identified within half an hour, so no waiting!

HOW DOES THE ID AND THUMBPRINT MEMBERSHIP WORK?

Post Covid, it has become apparent that our current membership system doesn’t quite work for us anymore and as we are becoming a more sustainable business, we are cutting down on paper and plastic. So we no longer ask members to sign a membership form nor issue a plastic membership card.  Instead, we are now fully electronic with all members and guests stored on a secure, encrypted cloud server. We need ID to set up your membership and we will ask you to scan your thumb or finger print on our system via a reader. This will be stored against your name and address for future visits. On subsequent visits, you will simply need to pop your thumb/finger on our reader and your info will pop up. The system will book you in and out of the building, so it will also be used for fire safety purposes, in the instance of a fire alarm. Your true identity is used to provide protection to all members, and in turn provides a level of additional privacy and protection for yourself.

I'M REALLY BODY CONSCIOUS, DO I HAVE TO DRESS DOWN?

We only ask people to dress down after 10.30pm upstairs. If you don’t feel comfortable at first, then maybe wander around upstairs before 10.30pm or remain on the ground floor socializing. However, dress down is not optional upstairs after 10.30pm. You are not alone in your nervousness though and you can get creative in how you dress down to still feel comfortable.  Some people wear wraps or the likes of kinky Ann Summers play outfits which cover more flesh. I promise you though, that you won’t feel uncomfortable for long, as everyone is in the same boat and we all have our insecurities.

DO YOU ALLOW SEX IN THE HOT TUB?

The short answer is NO! We do not allow any sexual contact whatsoever in the tub, to ensure that it remains clean and fresh throughout the night for other guests. The tub is brand new and will be serviced regularly, as well as emptied and cleaned on a regular basis. However, we need you to do your bit to keep it clean, which means showering before you get in and refraining from sex in the tub.

WHAT DO I DO IF I SEE SOMEONE BREAKING THE RULES?

It depends on the rule they are breaking, but as a general rule, we ask people to report the breach to the desk manager straight away.  You may feel able to remind another guest of the ‘no mobile phone’ rule or politely ask someone to dress down after 10.30pm. However, we wouldn’t expect you to put yourself in an uncomfortable position, so feel free to report anything to the manager.  We recommend that you don’t try to rectify the more serious breaches yourself as this will simply spoil your night. Our staff are there to ensure the evening goes smoothly, so report anything to them and they will deal with the situation so you don’t get yourself into an embarrassing or uncomfortable situation.  Please please do not wait until after the event to report bad behavior as we can’t do anything after the fact. It must be reported on the night to give us the best chance of sorting out the issue before it snowballs.

ARE THERE CCTV CAMERAS IN THE CLUB?

There are absolutely NO CCTV cameras in our playrooms, changing rooms, bathrooms etc…  We do have CCTV around the outside perimeter of the club, in the foyer and reception where you will book in. By law, we must keep our cctv recordings for 31 days and we only ever use it if a crime has been committed on or outside the premises, which is VERY rare!  Finally, we have a camera above the tills in the bar. They do not record the customer side of the bar and nobody will be captured apart from bar staff.  We would not ever place cameras in playrooms or areas where people require privacy, so you can freely express yourselves in complete peace of mind.  If you would like reassurance on this matter, we purposely make all of our cctv camera recordings visible on a massive customer facing screen in reception, so you can see exactly what is seen on camera.

WHAT IF I CAN NO LONGER ATTEND AN EVENT? CAN I GET A REFUND?

If you can no longer attend an event, email the event authority team with your request no later than the specified time listed in the ticket confirmation email. We will grant you an account credit which can be applied to the purchase of a future ticket.

HOW DO I GET INVITED INTO PLAY AND IS ALL PLAY INVITE ONLY?

All play is invite only, even in the orgy room; just because an orgy is taking place, it doesn’t mean it’s a free for all!  So unless you have been invited, you cannot take part in a play scene. Similarly, if you are playing, nobody should join in without your invite and consent. The only way you would be invited into play is by socializing and generally chatting to the people you are sharing the club with. Nobody will invite you to play unless you have had a conversation first.  The general rule is that swinging is female led. This obviously isn’t always the case on our all make events or bi events! But in general, the ladies have the final say on play and if they want to be involved. So the male part of a couple should not coerce his partner to play just to fulfill his fantasy. This also applies the other way around, but if a lady says no to play, her partner or potential play partners must accept it.  If you are a single lady and would like to experience a gang bang with lots of men, we would not recommend you do this without a friend or staff member acting as chaperone. 

DO YOU HAVE PRIVATE ROOMS FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE NOT EXHIBITIONISTS?

Yes we have two private rooms. One is small and cosy for two or three people. The other is large and would comfortably house up-to 6 people. Our BDSM ‘Klinik’ can also be used as a private room for those who fancy trying something a bit different!  We have several group play areas, each with a different vibe and a couples only group play area on a Saturday night.

DO YOU HOLD LGBTQ+ EVENTS

We have a massive LGBTQ+ membership and everyone is welcome to enjoy any of our events if they feel comfortable doing so. However, we also hold events that are specific to the LGBTQ+ community, including all male events, all female events, trans events and a fabulous LGBTQ + melting pot event.  We also offer poly memberships to established poly families and we welcome non binary and gender queer members.

CAN I VOLUNTEER TO WORK AT A PARTY?

To inquire about volunteering, ask your referral

WHAT DO I NEED TO BRING TO GET CHECKED IN TO AN EVENT?

When you purchase a ticket, you will receive an email confirmation. Bring that ticket on your phone or printed out. It will include a QR code.